


the stages of grief

by stannabeth



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Character Death, F/M, House of Hades, angsty, im sorry, percabeth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22357582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stannabeth/pseuds/stannabeth
Summary: Two enter, only one leaves. The lone son of Poseidon staggers out the elevator doors, the weight of death heavy upon his conscience. It is in that moment that he realizes nothing will ever be the same.AU in which Annabeth doesn't survive Tartarus.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

Hazel’s chest pounded with every beat of her heart. The breaths she attempted to take came in shallow gulps. As the Doors of Death slowly slid open, she wondered if her prayers had gone unheard. If their efforts had been in vain. The entrance to the Doors of Death remained vacant, long enough for her panic to seize her once again. It took all her willpower to keep herself upright. 

A pale, bloody hand grasped the elevator door, and Hazel stifled a scream. Fear and relief flooded her brain, leaving her dizzy on her feet as the world swayed around her. 

A face, almost unrecognizable turned to face their group. Green eyes stared into gold. The only noise Hazel could hear was the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears. 

The waxen corpse that had been the son of Poseidon staggered out of the elevator doors, and all signs of life going with him. The stillness that beheld the elevator was tangible, almost, as if nothingness had a presence.

The thump of her heartbeat was deafening as the doors to the elevator closed and the lift dropped. Tears stung her eyes and blurred her vision. Shock closed her throat as the realization settled in her stomach.

Annabeth was dead. 

The thought bounced around her head.  _ Annabeth was dead. Annabeth was dead. Annabeth was dead. _ It replayed in a torturous loop, only to be broken by a voice, a voice that seemed sent a chill down her spine and raised the hairs on her arms. The corpse gasped, “I’m right here.” Sallow skin and broken flesh hit the ground as he collapsed.

More words had been spoken, more statements made. The claims were as empty as the elevator car was now, sitting in the Pit, demons clawing for a way in. Well-meant words drowned in the River Styx. 


	2. denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They would sit in silence until their bones rotted if it meant not talking about her.

_Numb_.

Percy Jackson felt numb. There was nothing but existing. Feeling had left him. He wanted the lump in his throat to suffocate him.

(that would be nice)

He sat on a bed that felt ten degrees colder, staring at a door that would never have her walk through it again.

The knock on his door was so quiet he almost didn’t hear it. A strange hope swelled in his chest

(is it her)

but faded as Piper’s voice tumbled into his brain.

“Percy? Can I come in?”

Percy nodded, and then realized she couldn’t see him.

“Yeah.” He croaked. His voice was scratchier than usual after having not spoken for a few days. When he inhaled, his lungs and throat burned with fresh air.

As the door opened, orange sunlight flooded his room. The warmth felt almost foreign.

Piper poked her head through the door, hesitant, as if she were worried that he would dissolve if she got too close. Her eyes were slightly red and her face was flushed. Her hands shook.

Slowly, she inched toward him, keeping a considerable distance.

There she stood, in the middle of the room. The sunlight that had shone into his room was no longer warm. As the door closed, the atmosphere felt almost icy.

Piper said nothing, probably waiting for him to speak. He wouldn’t. He knew she would bring… _her_ up. The wound had barely started to heal, and her name would bring it festering back into existence.

The quiet dug deep. Neither person said anything for what felt like hours. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. They would sit in silence until their bones rotted if it meant not talking about her.

Eventually, Piper said, “We need to talk.”

( _no. _)__

“About what?” He replied.

(please don’t say her name)

“About you.”

He said nothing.

“Percy, you need to leave your room at some point. This isn’t what she would have wanted.”

(what do you know)

“You don’t know her.”

“I know she doesn’t want you like this. I miss her too, I...” She trailed off.

(you hardly knew her)

“What do you miss about her?” He inquired.

“I… what?”

(don’t play stupid)

“What do you miss about her? He repeated. “Since you knew her so well.”

Piper reached a trembling hand towards him. “I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean it like that.” Her voice sounded thick and shaky.

He stared at the floor. “No, go on. Was it all the adventures you went on together? All the warm, fuzzy memories you made?” He laughed, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in his voice.

He was unlike himself, and it scared him.

(she was right)

This isn’t what she would have wanted.

He raised his head to say something.

(what are you gonna say)

Piper had left.

Percy didn’t leave his room for three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that I'm going to make this 6 chapters. The first one is just the introduction (prologue?), and the next five are the stages of grief.
> 
> I also chose to use parentheses when I'm in Percy's POV, I hope it makes sense.
> 
> Chapter 3 is a work in progress, but due to current events it's taking a lot longer than I anticipated. Hoping to get it out within the next few weeks!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for reading!


	3. anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only he could rid himself of this misery.

##### Leo

Breakfast was a disaster.

Percy stumbled out of his room for the first time in days. He pulled out a chair and slumped into it with a sigh; what little energy he had had been drained out of him. He was seated next to an empty spot that would never be filled again, not completely. 

He kept his head down, picking at a plate of food it seemed he had no interest in eating.

No one dared make eye contact—not out of fear, but the sheer fact that they had no idea what to say to him.

What do you say to someone who’s heard the worst?

Percy let out a small, cold laugh. “You guys can say something, you know.”

His voice was thick and scratchy, the voice of someone who had screamed; a muffled cry behind closed doors, a cry made so quiet that no one could hear his pleas.

Percy had finally lifted his head, his green eyes scanning the table, searching their expressions. Now that Leo could see his face, he felt an instant pang of pity. The days had not been kind to Percy. 

Percy’s face was drained of nearly all its color, the only exception being the dark circles that had formed under his eyes. Blue veins snaked up and down his face and arms, more apparent against his now pallid complexion. His eyes had turned the color of murky water, a lifeless, dull green. He seemed thinner, likely because he hadn’t eaten much in a few days. His face was sunken in, the skin on his hands stretched tightly over his knuckles. A faint patch of stubble had formed along his jaw, painting his face in a dark shadow. Even his usually dark hair seemed to take on a grayish tinge. 

Leo stared uncomfortably at his lap; his fear of saying the wrong thing was bad, but the unbearable quiet was even worse. 

To break the uncomfortable silence, Leo blurted out, “It’s a good thing you’re here because I was starting to think you had died in there.”

_Shit. ___

__He clapped a hand over his mouth, wishing he could take back what he had said, silently cursing his impulsivity. Everyone stared at the two of them, terrified of how Percy would react._ _

__But Percy’s jaw just twitched as he continued picking at his plate._ _

__“Hey man,” Leo started. “I’m sorry—”_ _

__“No, don’t worry about it. It’s fine.” Percy said, trying to mask his obvious irritation._ _

__They continued to eat in silence, and this time, Percy didn’t make an effort to speak.  
***  
The next time Leo saw Percy, a day had passed. 

__The sun had nearly finished setting over the horizon, taking what was left of its warmth with it. The sky was devoid of all clouds that day, meaning a spray of bright stars and a crescent moon would soon appear._ _

__Leo had gone out onto the deck to try and calm his racing mind. Ever since the fiasco at breakfast, his brain hadn’t had the decency to shut up, interrupting his thoughts with anxious sentiments._ _

__Leaning against the railing, he closed his eyes and tried to inhale the salty smell of the ocean. He lost track of time, swaying to flow of the ship and inhaling the crisp air._ _

__He took a deep breath, and the sea smell intensified. He opened his eyes, and, standing there, to his right, was Percy._ _

__It was a while before either of them spoke. Leo fidgeted nervously; he was determined to get it right this time._ _

__“I’m sorry about everything,” Leo said. “We’re all so worried about you, and I just don’t know what to say.”_ _

__“Well, bringing up my dead girlfriend isn’t exactly heading in the right direction,” Percy muttered._ _

__Leo’s heart stopped. “I’m really sorry, I wasn’t thinking—” he started, repeating the same apology for what felt like the millionth time. He could never seem to find the right words._ _

__Percy cut him off. “Relax, I’m joking,” Percy said, in a tone that made it clear he wasn’t joking, not really._ _

__This conversation couldn’t get any worse, so Leo decided to say, “If you don't mind me asking— how did she die?” He paused, letting the words hang in the air. “What happened down there?” He added. It was the question they had been all waiting to hear since Percy had dragged himself out the Doors._ _

__Percy considered this question for a moment. He sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. For a second, Leo thought he wasn’t going to say anything at all._ _

__Percy turned his gaze to the stars that were starting to appear across the horizon. His eyes were misty and unfocused. “We were so close to making it out,” Percy said. His voice shook as he spoke and he took a deep breath to steady himself. “We ran into this misery goddess, and something in me just… _snapped _. It was like a different version of myself took over. I wanted her to choke on her own tears; I wanted to see her _die _by my hands.”_____ _

______It wasn’t shocking that Tartarus had brought out the worst in Percy; that was its purpose. But hearing the words out loud still sent a chill down Leo’s spine._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I would’ve killed her… Or the god equivalent of death, anyway. But An—” He hesitated at her name, swallowing hard. He shut his eyes tight, trying to burn the wretched memory out of his mind._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was a long moment before he shook his head and murmured, “I can’t do this.” He started to walk away, and his body seemed to be weighed down by a great heaviness._ _ _ _ _ _

______Leo’s curiosity got the better of him. “Wait,” he called. “You didn’t tell me how Annabeth got herself killed,” Again, he regretted his words the minute he spoke them._ _ _ _ _ _

______Then the world tore in two._ _ _ _ _ _

##### Percy

________ _ _ _ _

_Got herself killed _. So few words, so much meaning. It implies that she was too helpless to defend herself, that it was somehow her fault she died.__

__It was very likely that Leo had simply misspoken. But Percy didn’t care. Leo didn’t get to misspeak, not when he hadn’t lost the one person he could remember; his best friend, his lifeline._ _

__He would soon learn what that pain was like._ _

__Percy’s chin jutted out to the left with a snap of his neck, and a claw of water snatched Leo’s body from the ship’s deck and held him roughly ten feet in the air. Leo struggled and fought, but his flames were extinguished each time he tried to produce one. Percy’s nails dug into his palm and the water claw tightened its grasp, a tendril snaking around Leo’s neck. Leo’s mouth gaped as he tried to get air, and his eyes were wide with shock and pain._ _

__Percy reached his hand up and made a slicing movement and the water flowed loose, splashing onto the deck and flowing back into the ocean. Leo hit the floor with a _thud _, and Percy surged toward him, red anger rimming his vision. He tackled Leo, and all reason abandoned him. His hands clasped around Leo’s throat, around Akhlys’ throat, and now, finally, he had the chance to finish what he started. He would kill her, and rid himself of this awful misery. He would live in a world where he wasn’t the son of a god, wasn’t a person who had seen the light leave his friends’ eyes too many times, wasn’t a person who had to fight for his life every day, in more ways than one.___ _

____If only he could rid himself of this misery._ _ _ _

____***_ _ _ _

____As he recalled it, he could remember other people running onto the deck._ _ _ _

____(what the hell are you doing)_ _ _ _

____They pulled him off of Leo._ _ _ _

____(why the fuck would you do that)_ _ _ _

____The world slowed to a painful halt._ _ _ _

____(he’s gone crazy)_ _ _ _

____Maybe he had._ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the long-awaited Chapter 3! Sorry for the wait, but 2020 has been a crazy year.
> 
> This is probably my favorite chapter out of the ones I've written so far (and also the longest). I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!


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